The Shop Tart has been fighting a losing battle since the day her first son was born. Or has she? Every week, she gets a friendly scolding from her housekeeper. Once again, the boys haven’t picked up their room so she can clean. This, as you may imagine, enrages the Shop Tart. Some children actually have to dust and vacuum their own rooms. The Shop Tart’s sons, while generally very nice and respectful boys, have been known to complain bitterly, with no small amount of drama, about the fact that they have to pick up their own cr*p. Once a week. So someone else can clean their room. This makes their mother feel like a failure at, you know, decent human rearing. She worries about their future romantic prospects. Who on earth would want to make a life with someone so entitled? Then she puts it in perspective. They aren’t the first children to bring the noise about something so wrong. And they won’t be the last. And most of them turn out okay, so please don’t discount her darling sons.
Anyhow, last Monday, she couldn’t take it any more. She went up to check out their room in anticipation of the housekeeper’s arrival. Let it also be said that one of Mr. Shop Tart’s only duties is to supervise the straightening of the room. Supervise, not just ask if they did it and believe their answer. Once again, it wasn’t done. Calmly, the Shop Tart removed every item of clothing from their drawers and the closet shelves. (She left the hanging clothes, which were relatively well organized.) She piled them all in the middle of the floor. This was the half way point.
She found socks belonging to the children who claimed they had no socks. Perfectly good khakis, property of the children who claimed to have nothing to wear to church. And t-shirts. So many t-shirts. She sent Mr. Shop Tart a picture and warned him of the task ahead. She let the housekeeper know she was off the hook. And she realized she didn’t want to be home for the fallout. She definitely didn’t want to cook for the offenders. She remembered a gift certificate for the Hunter Gatherer, burning a hole in her pocket, and texted her siblings, her father, and his wife, and invited them to dinner. Hooray! They enjoyed a leisurely Monday night meal, starting with warm crab dip. (As always, the Shop Tart asked for crudite on the side, hoping to get a few extra veggies in.)
(This is on the list as one of the first things the Shop Tart wants to eat when detox week is over. Delicious!) The white wine was flowing — a pretty decent sauvignon blanc — and the Shop Tart began to relax. She enjoyed the heck out of her Greek salad, adding deliciously seasoned shrimp to make it a meal.
One of her sisters had the goat cheese salad with shrimp.
Can we talk about those little goat cheese toast thingies? They are such a treat. Last night, while the Shop Tart enjoyed her detox friendly cucumber and avocado chilled soup, her family ate Greek lentil soup from Rosewood Market and goat cheese crostini, made with Heather’s Artisan ciabbata bread and Split Creek Farms tomato basil goat cheese, also from Rosewood. The Shop Tart did not indulge, but has been told it was a fine meal. (She did try the soup, rationalizing that it couldn’t be that far off her list. It is ridiculously good, lemony and delicious. And chock full of healthy lentils and greens. Even the Tank liked it. New favorite! The Shop Tart will be checking the deli menu regularly for this one.)
But back to the Hunter Gatherer. (Because we always go back to the Hunter Gatherer. Because it’s the best!) The Shop Tart’s other sister did something very, very smart. The Hunter Gatherer’s gyro is legendary. The lamb version is delicious, but the vegetarian, portabello mushroom version is just as good. The Shop Tart’s sis ordered a mixture of the two, so she could enjoy the meaty goodness of the lamb, and the tender, savory mushroom. Genius.
Her father and his lovely wife split a steak. At first, the Shop Tart thought thought they were being polite, because she was paying. She reminded them that she had a gift certificate, so it was no big deal. They reminded her that the steak was huge!
After dinner, they split a dessert, because the Shop Tart was hoping to delay her return home as long as possible.
It was good.
And the room? It took a week, but they did it. And everyone is much happier, especially the Shop Tart. Have you ever acted like a crazy person in the face of your house mate’s or family members’ mess? Do you even think what the Shop Tart did was crazy? Do the ends justify the means? Don’t you think that crab dip looks amazing? What makes you bring the noise?
In today’s post…
- Hunter Gatherer, 900 Main Street, 803-748-0540
- Rosewood Market, 2803 Rosewood Drive, 803-765-1083
Happy Shopping and don’t forget to tell them you read it on the Shop Tart!